Foresight
by red-feathers-pink-blossom
Summary: A young Near sees the future of Mello portrayed in his dream. With one chance at intimacy, what will he do in the face of so much death and confusion? Does it matter what's real? MXN Oneshot With a little sprinkle of L...


**Author's note:**

**"Insert I don't own Death Note cliche in here"**

**This is an odd one-shot I wrote about the complex relationship between Mello and Near, a pairing which I am currently addicted to. Yes, this is boys on boys. You know the drill.**

**Sit back, relax, and let the dream take you over...**

**-FORESIGHT-**

**A Near and Mello One-shot**

* * *

A sickle moon hung in the void of the sky, picking out the ridges in the countryside. The spire of a small church pierced the blackness. A gentle breeze wafted through the branches of the trees, leaves fluttering and threatening to fall like unchecked tears. It seemed not a soul breathed in this landscape, not a sound could be heard.

He took each step in steady calculation, not allowing his small pale feet to be marred by mud, or cut by the twisted twigs which were strewn across the path. In his mind, he knew that his behaviour was not fitting, that there was no clear reason for him to be outside at night, submitting to the cold chill of winter.

Thus, he deduced that what was happening was not real.

Another dream.

The moonlight struck his hair which rivalled it in opalescent shine. Passing by a murky puddle, he contemplated his reflection. Usually he had no care for his outward appearance, but his unconscious was presenting it to him.

So…pale. White as bone, a face like moulded porcelain with two gaping eyes, black as black as black. His imagined self shivered in repulsion. No, he was not a pleasure to the eyes. Yet, with the intellectual abilities which could almost rival L himself, why need he be concerned with such a trivial matter?

Though, his mind was slowly becoming aware that something was about to occur. He needed to look his best for this.

As he made his way over the crest of the hill, his eyes fell on the reason.

In a split second, it all made sense. Emotion, terrible, acute emotion bewildered his brain.

The sight of the two of them together, hand in hand, made his mouth dry. He saw them, outlined against the stain glass window of the church. They were laughing, sharing a joke, an intimacy, which he could only guess at. The hunched man drew out a hand and brushed the smaller boy's hair affectionately, who responded with a grin, before hastily taking a chunk out of his chocolate.

Suddenly, they sensed his presence. Mello's eyes turned cold, L's widened just a fraction in response. Slowly, he raised a hand, beckoning him, a gentle smile upon his face. He was compelled to obey, how badly he wished to see him, to feel his presence and to at least on some level understand it.

He had barely taken another step forward when the wind unnaturally picked up, causing a cluster of leaves to be picked up and thrown in his face. Desperately trying to protect his himself from the onslaught, he heard within the wailing of the wind something else. A cry…no?

A laugh. A terrible, bestial, uncontrolled laugh which seemed to invade his very body.

Then, the leaves were gone. The wind was gone.

And L was gone too.

Without any physical effort, he had found himself at the foot of the church, opposite his rival for L's attention. L was no longer there, he could feel the sense of his absence even more than his presence, negative space. It was wrong, he knew that instinctively. Even if this wasn't real-

"Where is L?" He demanded without a thought, asking the only other person present.

Mello's face was turned away, towards the church. All around, graves were present, small stone crucifixes and headstones.

"L is dead." came the answer, but I found it did not come from Mello's lips, but from my own!

He was dead. The greatest detective, the most intelligent man on the planet had fallen to the enemy. He had fallen to darkness, been crushed to dust. The legacy of the man was outdone by his own mortality, now he was nothing more to me but a disappointment, a broken promise, a fractured dream.

"L IS DEAD!"

Mello screamed. Mello screamed in a way I had never heard because this was not a scream of anger but of agony. I was suffering because my own intellectual expectations had been proved wrong.

Mello suffered because of his emotional expectations. His heart broke, while I failed to find mine. No emotion.

It was fine. It was all needless anyway. It was a dream.

Then he faced me.

He looked different.

Somehow, in the space of a few seconds Mello had grown up. His face, his whole body had grown and matured. The same glint of malice remained in his eye that I had always known, yes, that still remained.

"I will defeat you, Near! I am better that you! I will win, I will be number 1..." he trailed off, unsure for a moment. He appeared to me as a child in an adult body. Still so immature, I had no time for him like that. It seemed he would never change.

"You keep making mistakes Mello. You keep on fighting, but ask yourself, where does it get you?" my patience with him was lacking, I wanted to leave, to find some memory of L in a puzzle that I could solve-

"I tried to do it my own way." Mello was now clutching at his face, blood trickled down one side of it and he winced in pain, "I got so far…I had it…I need to beat you…I have…to."

I stared, transfixed by the wound on his face which instantly healed into a crooked scar. For once, I experienced some kind of empathy. I felt the pain of his failure. He didn't look the same now. Still determined, but his eyes were darker. He faced my directly, mouth trembling in a terrible rage. My eyes met with the mouth of a gun.

Mello was not a child, he was responsible. Death clung to him like cobwebs to a wall, he was suffocated by the effects of it. Now he held a gun, an instrument of death.

"I'm not your tool! I'LL KILL YOU!"

He didn't kill me. The gun was gone in a mere moment. I felt the breeze begin to pick up again.

Mello sighed, looked at the chocolate bar in his hand with a sudden and surprising disinterest. He threw it to the ground, it drowned within the muck. Running his fingers through his hair, a crooked smile formed on his face.

"So I guess I'm going to have to do it."

He looked at me, really looked at me for once. Just that look, that un-judgemental look made me feel whole, it made me feel human.

"This is it. The end, well, for me at least." He stopped, letting the words sink into my skin, chilling me.

"You are the future, the winner, the righteous one. Everything. It's all come to nothing for me. Now I think of it…it was never the same since L died. He meant so much. Perhaps I loved him…I'll never know…I never had time to find out."

He shrugged his shoulders, but I knew that every word his spoke was poured from the sensitive, true part of him which he had hidden from himself.

"We won't get to be like this in real life. I'll never say these things to you in real life. This isn't real. But me, Mello, I was real. A real person in your life, flesh and blood, someone who touched your life but you let slip between your fingers. I guess we were always afraid of intimacy, of misunderstanding."

He was holding my hand. I was shaking and I couldn't stop it.

"I needed to hate you, so I could keep on living as myself. You threatened to suck my whole life away, you were just like L, you left such a great impression on me. I felt there was nothing left of who I was. My beliefs…"

Mello looked at the church in longing, then turned to me, the same expression on his face. It made my mind stop. I couldn't process all the information anymore.

"I had to step away from my past. I had to be a bully, a criminal, and…a killer. I could have killed you, but I didn't. In a way, you represented all I ever wanted to be. It was like with L ,I wanted approval , I wanted attention. More than anything, I just… wanted you."

The moon dipped beneath a cloud, obscuring my vision. He was close now. It was an embrace.

"There was always something between us. I don't know what it was. I didn't want to know. I know L knew what it was though, I think he always wanted us to work together, to be a unit. But…I despised him for dieing, and I despised you for not caring that he was dead."

"That is…"I found myself unable to complete the sentence. His face a mere breath away, he peered at me insistently, waiting for my response, "Mello, you know I have always had great respect for L. I…I've always wanted us to work together." This was the best I could muster at the time.

"Wow," Mello's voice purred in the silence, "I think I can almost see some emotion in your face. I think you may have even blushed," he chuckled to himself, but it wasn't an unpleasant sound. I breathed in deeply, wondering at the warmth of the moment. He himself, he was so warm. Though, what had he been saying before? Even as Mello pulled me closer, brushing his cheek against mine affectionately, his words poisoned me.

"I'LL KILL YOU"

"This isn't real"

"I had to be a bully, a criminal, and…a killer."

Mello planted his searing lips on mine, committing the greatest sin of all. My mouth was burning, I felt consumed by him. Destroyed by lust, hatred, fear, grief and a happiness which I knew could never truly exist. In my mind, it was wrong, it was right, no-it didn't matter! It was just a dream!

His hands stroked at my neck, then hungrily unbuttoned my shirt, letting the night breeze cool my heated body. I couldn't control the animalistic desire within me. I wanted, I needed to be as close to Mello as was physically possible. To be close, to finally understand that connection between us, to let it burn away at us if it had to. Also, within my mind somewhere was the realisation that this was my only chance to experience intimacy, even if it was within my own unconsciousness.

His hands slid between my legs, causing a spasm of pleasure to encapsulate my body. The sensation of his skilful, slender hands firmly pleasuring me to the brink of ecstasy bleached all rational thoughts from my mind.

"Mello, Mello, Mello," I chanted his name over and over, it was him, he was the key to my desires. Only he could be accepted by my body, only he could perish the ice and convert me to a state of shivering fire. I looked up, wishing to see his face, his eyes-

Mello was on fire.

His form was literally being eaten by flames, it was sagging already, he fell into the muck and rolled from me. Shock invaded me, I did not understand. Why would my subconscious be slaughtering Mello, why was I doing this to him? With limbs suddenly heavy, I attempted to run to him. The wind, that terrible wind, it rushed into my face, slicing at my eyes.

That same laugh, ringing through the darkness, over and over.

The church was burning. The roar of flames was deafening. The stained glass was cracking, it's beauty forever lost in the churning mess. The stench swamped me, the orange light arrested my vision.

He was gone, he was gone to the dust and the flames and all the darkness that had ever threatened to take over my world.

"Mello!"

My eyes were open. I was in a blank, white room which smelt of wood polish. Outside, tree branches knocked against the window.

* * *

Across the corridor, in his own bed, Mello slept on his back, dead to the world.

**I hope you enjoyed this! I know the ending may have been unsatisfactory in some ways but I wanted to show how death overshadows everything...and yet even out of death can come desire.**

**This is supposedly a one-shot but if anyone disagrees...im open to any ideas, criticisms...basically anything!**

**In particular comments on my writing stlye and pacing would be appreciated! I havn't written a fic in a while so...just getting comfortable.**

**Thanks**

**-redfeatherspinkblossom**


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